A marriage with arguments doesn't mean it's doomed (phew); it's how you handle them that counts. Here's how to have your say without any Jersey Shore drama.
Go to bed mad. Studies show that when people are fired up, their brains need at least 30 minutes to clam down. "Agree to disagree until morning, when the issue won't be as intense," says Terri Orburch, Ph.D., author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great.
Don't be totally honest. Or rather, say it in an unemotional way to actually allow for change. Instead of "You're such a slob!" say "Having your clothes on the floor makes things chaotic for me." Being specific lets him work toward a precise solution.
Say you're sorry (even if you didn't start it!). Just saying "I'm sorry we're fighting" is an effective way to put off the fire, an important step toward bridging the gap. And forget any thoughts that taking the first step shows weakness. "It's actually a real sign of strength," says Orbuch.
SOURCE: PARENTING MAGAZINE
Go to bed mad. Studies show that when people are fired up, their brains need at least 30 minutes to clam down. "Agree to disagree until morning, when the issue won't be as intense," says Terri Orburch, Ph.D., author of 5 Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage from Good to Great.
Don't be totally honest. Or rather, say it in an unemotional way to actually allow for change. Instead of "You're such a slob!" say "Having your clothes on the floor makes things chaotic for me." Being specific lets him work toward a precise solution.
Say you're sorry (even if you didn't start it!). Just saying "I'm sorry we're fighting" is an effective way to put off the fire, an important step toward bridging the gap. And forget any thoughts that taking the first step shows weakness. "It's actually a real sign of strength," says Orbuch.
SOURCE: PARENTING MAGAZINE
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